I bet you thought I’d given up…

But by golly, I have NOT! I am still here, still battling, still making progress. I just got a little derailed, that’s all.

For those of you who aren’t obsessed with my every status update on the Facebook, (and let’s be honest, there really are just a few who AREN’T) I tore my calf muscle a couplfew weeks ago while playing basketball with my son and my man stallion. As you might imagine, that has put the running on hold for the time being. I am finally getting around without screaming “Ow, oww, owww, OWWWW!” in my head every time I take a step so that is progress, but I’m still not 100% and my leg lets me know it. To be quite honest though, I had sort of given up a little before that happened.

See, I have always been one where athletic things have come very naturally to me. Take me snow skiing? I’ll be running blacks before the trip is over. Challenge me to a game of tennis? I will give you a good run for your money. Take me swimming? I will lap you. Take me to the basketball court? I WILL CRUSH YOU (and as it turns out, very likely tear a calf muscle in the process). I am competitive and I like to win. I’m not even sure if win is the right word here…I like to DOMINATE. And until I decided to take up running, I nearly always have done just that.

When I first decided to take on the C25K I thought to myself, “How hard could it REALLY be? One foot in front of the other…just like walking, but a little more movement and some extra jiggling involved. No biggie. I can totally do this.” But I was WRONG. There is that whole mind over matter thing and that’s where I got hung up. I started off really strong (like I do with most things) but when it didn’t become easy right away I could not convince myself, despite all sorts of attempts at bargaining and rewards and positive self talk, that I could do it and that’s where I still am today. I could not push myself to take that extra step and make progress.

I know all the cliches…can’t never could…nothing worth doing is ever easy…you know the ones I am talking about here. None of that helps me. I have got to get my head back in the game and think of it more like a personal challenge than a personal defeat. I have not given up and if anything, my resolve has actually been strengthened since I basically gave up. Correction: Paused to Reflect. (Yes, I like that much better.) I know what I need to do, I know how I need to do it, and so once I heal completely, I WILL do it, even if it takes me a year to be able to run a mile.

In other news, I decided to start Weight Watchers again for the millionth time. Today is the end of my 6th week and I am down a full and exact 10 lbs from when I started which puts me in the 240’s (barely, but it counts dammit). I really can’t remember the last time I have been in the 40’s and I am so excited about it.

This is about the point where I would have started to lose interest in the program, quit tracking, and eventually quit altogether, but I haven’t! In fact, I am finding the opposite to be true this time around. I didn’t overwhelm myself with all the new rules all at once. I don’t know how many of you have been to WW before, but it is incredibly intimidating and overwhelming at first. When I started back this time I was determined to stick with it and go to every single meeting whether that meant a gain on my record or not. This time I started off slow, added little things here and there, cut back on things and weeded other stuff out completely. I have stayed for the meetings and listened to other members’ problems and feedback and accomplishments. What a surprise…it’s working now and I am getting more out of it than I ever have before!I am in it to win it and I WILL DOMINATE IT.

So anyway, that’s what’s new with me. I’m still here, still working, still struggling, still making progress.